Anywhere people gather, one thing is certain: at some point, conflict will arise. And as much as leaders might like to keep it out of the workplace, even the most amiable employees in the healthiest organizations will eventually disagree with someone.
Workplace conflict can range from minor disagreements to heated exchanges to even physical altercations or violence. The consequences of this conflict—aside from fractured human connections—are significant. One researcher found that US workers spend nearly three hours per week dealing with conflict at work, which translates into about $350 billion of paid work hours per year.
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The Skill Your Managers Need: Conflict Management
Managing workplace conflict often falls on leaders, and many—especially emerging leaders—are not equipped to navigate this challenge. A study of over 70,000 manager candidates by DDI found that 49% lack good conflict management skills, and only 12% are highly proficient in this critical area.
How can you ensure that your managers and leaders are able to manage and resolve conflicts at work? Here are four areas to focus on.
1. Communication
According to researchers Benjamin Laker and Vijay Pereira, the majority of workplace conflicts (91%) boil down to four main causes: communication differences (39%), opaque performance standards (14%), unreasonable time constraints (16%), and unclear expectations (22%).
All these causes have, at their root, some kind of communication challenge. That challenge could be a result of any number of things—generational or cultural differences,unclear electronic communication, lack of openness, or even misunderstandings around tone of voice.
Work with managers and leaders to develop good communication skills. Focus on active listening, and set ground rules about how people will communicate with each other. Ask questions and encourage others to do the same.
2. Emotional Regulation
When people are asked about the emotions they associate with conflict, they often express negativity. It’s very common for people to react to even the idea of conflict with feelings of dread, nervousness, anxiety, or even fear.
When managers are called on to help others resolve conflict, those feelings can create challenges to healthy conflict management—especially when those involved are also experiencing strong emotions.
It’s important for leaders to learn how to regulate their own emotions during these challenges. Practice the skills tomanage emotions and lessen frustration; make it a habit to pause before responding, maintain an even tone, and use “I” language to emphasize personal feelings instead of blaming others.
3. Problem-Solving
Conflict isn’t always due to personality or communication differences between people. Sometimes, conflict arises because of challenges from outside the team. New priorities from senior leaders might result in difficult time constraints, or new customer feedback may require changes team members aren’t prepared for.
It can be easy for managers to become discouraged when faced with large, unexpected challenges. Try to help your leaders learn to ask different questions about the problems they face. Promote a healthy failure culture and psychological safety so team members feel they can ask questions and offer feedback. Encourage curiosity and imagination, and help leaders reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth.
4. Decision-Making
Sometimes, the only way to resolve a conflict will involve difficult decisions. A direct report who can’t adhere to team communication guidelines might have to be let go, or high-performing team members who simply can’t resolve their personality differences might have to be assigned elsewhere.
It’s also important to recognize the reverse dynamic—that is, sometimes weak decision-making skills can reveal a fear of conflict.
But poor decision-making skills often only make conflict worse. When leaders avoid making clear decisions, the ripple effects can include poor communication, unclear expectations and goals, and general confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety across the organization.
Encourage managers and leaders to develop good decision-making skills. They can start by assessing their personal decision-making styles—consultative, directive, or collaborative—and then practicing a four-step process to good decisions. Leaders should remember the power of the “cheetah pause,” too—especially in circumstances where tensions are running high.
In an age of rising distrust, making sure leaders at all levels have strong conflict management skills is a higher development priority than ever. By working with managers to develop conflict management skills, leaders can help ensure a healthy approach to conflict, a better workplace culture, and a stronger sense of stability in an age of uncertainty.
Good conflict management skills can help your organization produce better business results and people results. Want to learn how the team at Stewart Leadership can help? Contact us today.
Self-check:
- How much time do I spend each day/week managing conflict on my team? Is there a way I can reduce that amount of time?
- What feelings do I experience when faced with conflict? How can I better manage those?
- What is one development area I can focus on to improve my conflict management skills?
