Whether they were titans of industry, great military minds, religious teachers, or leaders of world-changing social movements, all leaders in history shared one thing: they all had mothers.
Of course, mothers are as varied and unique as the children they raise, but they tend to offer some of the same advice over time. And as it turns out, Mom is pretty smart when it comes to helping us build foundational leadership skills.
Ten lessons on leadership that you probably didn’t even know you learned from your mom.
“Share.”
Whether it was with the kid down the street or the annoying little sibling, our moms always urged us to share. Share your toys, take turns on the swing, and give her a piece of your candy—Mom always wanted you to be generous.
Leaders can take this lesson to the next level by recognizing and appreciating employees and sharing credit with their teams. Success rarely happens in a vacuum; even solo athletes will give credit to coaches and support systems. Share the credit for big wins with everyone.
“Eat good food, go to bed early, and brush your teeth.”
Mom wanted us to grow up strong and healthy, so she encouraged us to take care of our bodies with diet, exercise, and healthy habits.
Likewise, leaders can’t function at the top of their game without caring for themselves. Your mom was right—you need good food, exercise, and quality sleep to function well.
“Be patient.”
Moms tend to be a remarkably patient group of people. Whether it’s a colicky baby, a toddler who has no end of “whys,” or a teen who wants to push every limit, Moms often have to dig deep to meet the needs of the moment—especially when they feel overwhelmed.
Leaders also need to manage feelings of overwhelm and practice patience. Sometimes, patience means playing the long game on an initiative that’s taking a while to finish; other times, it might mean coaching an underperforming team member or waiting while a great employee navigates a personal crisis.
“Count to ten.”
One of the best pieces of advice many of us got from our mothers was to take a pause when we were angry, offended, or hurt. Mom often counseled us to pause and count to ten before responding, in part to make sure the response was appropriate.
Mom was right. When confronted with a decision or engaged in a difficult conversation, taking a pause and a deep breath can be vital in managing your frustration. It can reset your fight or flight reflex and help you respond to challenges in a way that preserves your reputation and improves your career prospects.
“Dress appropriately.”
Whether for church on Sunday, school pictures, or our first job interview, Mom always wanted us to wear the right clothes for the moment.
For leaders who want to make an impression, dressing “appropriately” doesn’t necessarily mean the old-school “dress for success” model of a dark suit and red tie. Instead, it means dressing in a way that doesn’t distract from leadership authority and contributes to your overall executive presence.
“Finish what you started.”
One of the most important lessons a young person can learn is to follow through. For instance, it’s easy to start a sports season and then get bored or frustrated and want to quit. Our moms rightly recognized the value of following through with our commitments; they often reminded us that others were counting on our contributions in anything that involved a team effort.
Follow-through is equally essential for leaders. When challenges arise, pushing off responsibilities, procrastinating, or even walking away entirely can be tempting. Leaders who don’t follow through can leave their teams frustrated, angry, or demoralized.
“You can’t burn the candle at both ends.”
For those of us who may have occasionally overcommitted ourselves, Mom sometimes had to step in and remind us that there were only 24 hours in the day, and we needed to sleep for about a third of those.
For leaders who try to do too much and take on too many obligations in life and work, Mom’s advice is a good reminder that work-life integration is necessary. Candles that burn at both ends melt a lot of wax, start a house fire, or burn out too early. Leaders who want to remain effective in the long run must manage their workloads and seek a more balanced approach.
“It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.”
Every kid runs into someone at some time who is difficult or different. Sometimes, that means dealing with a bully; other times, it means encountering someone who looks or sounds different. Mom was always good at reminding us that every family and every person we met was different and valuable.
Leaders can remember that every person has intrinsic value and worth and that even challenging personalities can contribute to a positive overall outcome.
“Practice makes perfect.”
From riding a bike to playing the piano to shooting baskets, Mom always encouraged us to keep practicing our skills until we achieved our goals.
To improve on Mom just slightly, we might now say, “Practice makes permanent.” After all, even after you learned to ride a bike, there was still a risk of falling! But the more we practice and hone our skills, the more permanent and polished those skills will be. We won’t ever be perfect—everyone makes mistakes! But Mom was right to remind us to keep practicing and improving. No one is born with all the leadership skills they’ll need to succeed, but they can develop them with practice.
“Do your best.”
The great thing about Mom was that even after encouraging us to practice, she still reminded us that our best was good enough on performance day. If you put in the work, all you could do was show up with your game face and do your best—with Mom standing there cheering and supporting you.
Leaders can remember that their teams also need this kind of encouragement, especially when things haven’t been going well. Remind your team that when they show up and put in their best efforts, that’s all anyone can expect.
Indra Nooyi recounts that when she returned to India in 2006 after being made CEO of PepsiCo, a steady stream of visitors came to her mother’s house—not to congratulate Nooyi on her promotion but to congratulate her mother on raising such a successful daughter. Nooyi then started sending letters to the parents of PepsiCo employees to thank them for the “gift of your child” to the company.
Nooyi and the visitors she encountered in India recognized something we can all agree on: we owe a lot to the mothers of the world. Today, reflect on what you’ve learned from a mom in your life, and thank the moms you know for all they do.
SELF CHECK:
- What is one leadership lesson you learned from your mom?
- What is one leadership lesson from mom that you can improve?
- What is one leadership lesson from mom you wish you’d practiced sooner?
